Adoption Cookbooks Are Available -- ORDER NOW!

We are proud to announce that our adoption-themed cookbook is completed! 

Order your copy  now!  

Purchases are made through Paypal. Use the button in the box to the left. 

A donation of $20 or more will get your copy delivered to your door!  

(Cookbooks will be shipped in July; please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery)

This book contains:

• 11 stories of families touched by adoption, including adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents, 
• 115 of their favorite family recipes, including many ethnic foods that represent the countries and cultures of both the adoptees and their parents,
• color photos 
• a spiral binding with laminated cover

We are sure you will want a copy for yourself and several copies to give as gifts!  

And we would appreciate you spreading the word to your friends and relatives that support adoption and orphan care about our blog and our cookbook.  

Thank you for supporting us!

Because We Can

Today was one of those days when I allowed a stray thought -- a very sane one, actually -- to visit my mind.  I considered the thought that some days there is/are already enough __________ (insert word such as craziness, disciplinary issues, teenage attitude, busy-ness, shoes, laundry, etc.) in this family, so why in the world would we purposely ask for more by adopting children into this household???  Are we crazy or what?  And do we have enough seats in the van or will we need to trade for a larger one?

Then I am reminded that God didn't tell us ahead of time what our parenting was going to require and we were still excited to be parents anyway, no matter what was ahead.  Good days and hard days come to everyone.  I've been reading in several of the books and materials recommended to adoptive parents about all the behaviors we should be ready to face.  Frankly, many of them are issues we address with our biological children, and many of the behaviors are rooted in our sinful souls.  I'm not going to get into the adoptee behavior issues any deeper here because I know many troubling behaviors stem from the sinful behaviors of those who were supposed to love and care for these children, leading them to God.  The problems and solutions are very complex.  My point is that we HAVE been thinking about these things and are not going into adoption with any romantic notions.

So the big question is WHY?  Why would we adopt?  I read this post on another adoptive father's blog today, and he summed it up quite well:

We are doing this because we are compelled to. There are two orphans in this world who need a mom and dad.

We are doing this because we can.

Yes, there are many other things we can do that would be much easier on us. We could spend more time and money on ourselves. We can do short term mission trips with the intent of easing our conscience and longing for something greater. We could keep going to church on Sunday mornings convinced that when Jesus told us to take up our cross and follow him, he meant sitting in a pew at church.

But life is not about arriving at death safely. Life is about giving it all. It is about saying thanks to our God who gave us all by giving everything we can for the good of his kingdom.

We will find room for our soon-to-be children in our lives. We will find room for them in our homes. We will try our best to cram them all in (our minivan).

We have already found room for them in our hearts.

We choose this for ourselves because we choose to love, and we are going to let God fill in the rest.

One of the comments following this post makes it even simpler:  they need someone, and none of the reasons that I can come up with to exempt myself ever seem good enough.

(See the full post at the Rainbowkids website or at  http://www.jeremystatton.com/). 

I really couldn't have said it better myself.  That is exactly what is in my heart.  We are willing, and so we keep walking ahead through open doors in faith that God will provide for us and that He is using us to provide for an orphan or two.   God did crazy things for us, and now we want to return the love and do crazy things for Him.  

I have yet to read any exemptions in my Bible for those who do not want to help the widow and the orphan.  Why would I be the first?  God has not forgotten them and I will not either.  Of course, I don't have to adopt, but I want to.  I'm not too old or young, too inexperienced, too unhealthy, or whatever.  I don't have the financial resources maybe, but I will do it in place of someone who has the resources and can't adopt because they ARE one of those things.  I've always been a hand-on person, not a sit-in-the-pew person.

Everyone has a part to play in fulfilling God's command and design to provide for the orphans of this world.  What is your part?  

Stuck in the mud

I hasn't rained much lately in our corner of Indiana, although the corn is already knee-high a month before the fourth of July.  But it seems like there's a deluge of expenses already piling up - both adoption and non-adoption -- making us feel like we're spinning our tires in the mud. We have three important expenses due for our adoption before we can keep moving forward.  We also have three important irregular expenses at home to take care of as soon as possible. It's hard to decide what to pay and what to wait on when nothing can really wait.

Let's face it -- 30+ thousand dollars is a lot of money.  It can buy a nice car, make a down payment on a house, put a child through a year of college.   It's an amount that, in our limited resources, we will never be capable of supplying by any of our own means. But what seems huge to us may seem small to you. Or you may be in a position to offer a sacrifice to the Lord on our behalf.

Will you consider adding your gift to our Milestone 1 account in the box to the left?  We know God has gifted so many of our friends (and even strangers) with both a desire to bless those in need and the resources to accomplish the blessing.  We also know that blessing is returned to the giver like bread tossed into the waves (Eccl. 11:1).

We are trusting God to provide.  Watch with us as He does so that His name will be praised.

"Do it afraid"

Not too long after I wrote that entry in my journal (see my previous post), I saw a Facebook post from a wonderfully talented friend of mine -- Rick Florian.  If you know Christian music from the 80s, you'll recognize his name as the lead singer of Whiteheart. A few years ago, Rick came back to visit Taylor University (we are both alumni) where we crossed paths in the Campus Store where I happen to work, and I was privileged to meet his wife and their young daughter who was adopted from China.  The Florian family has since also adopted an adorable boy from China.  Anyway, getting back to my point, Rick recently sang a duet of the title song with Elizabeth South on her album "Do It Afraid".  Not only did I really enjoy hearing Rick sing again, but the song was a very appropriate antidote to the fear about adopting I have some days.

You can see the music video and listen here: Elizabeth South & Rick Florian sing "Do It Afraid"

There's no sense in being so concerned about outcomes that I can't move forward.  No sense in worrying about tomorrow when today is where I live.  I am reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7, which says, "for God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." (KJV) The word "fear" is sometimes translated "timidity" which really describes what that feeling of being afraid does to you -- makes you hold back when you should be striding forward.  We're supposed to act like the complete opposite of afraid.  Notice I didn't say "feel like".  I don't know that we're always supposed to feel like we can make things happen or feel loving or not feel confused. I sure don't.  We acknowledge our inadequacies so that He can be strong in our weakness. Then, we are supposed to act like God is giving us the power, love and sound mind to fulfill His purposes and watch it become truth.

So today, join me in acting out Paul's advice to Timothy. Get beyond your fear. Go forward, persevere, do it afraid, but know that we have no reason to be afraid because we are backed up by God's great power, love and wisdom. How will your day look different with this attitude?

Beginning

Before I can post my present thoughts, I need to give you some of the back story, or nothing I post in the future will make any sense. (It may not anyway. But at least I will have turned on a light.)  For future posts, I'll be sure to provide more snapshots of the views along the road where we happen to be at the time. But to begin...


We started down the road to adoption years, even decades ago, as God was working in each of our lives (Steve & I) before we even met.  In the last several years we've had repeated conversations about how and when we want to adopt.  We are aging parents, after all.

Two years ago I went to an adoption financing seminar to find out what we needed to do to prepare, and then began a budgeting plan that would allow us to be nearly debt-free by spring of 2012 so we would be as financially stable as possible.  All of that went south in the winter of 2010, when a bathroom remodeling and mold remediation project got hijacked by some greedy contractors.  Long story short, we are not even close to getting out of debt, and in fact, have more now than we did two years ago when beginning my debt-reduction plan.

So, while our desire to adopt remained strong, the practicalities shouted louder: "you're not ready!"  And yet, as we're close to aging out of the potential adoptive parent range, can we afford to wait and miss this blessing?  What to do?

In the dead of winter this year, a friend who knew we wanted to adopt approached me and asked if we were going ahead, because they were finally going ahead with their adoption plans, too.  I said I thought we were done with that idea because of all that had happened financially, but she said not to give up.  If God wanted us to adopt, He would make provision.

Only a few days after that, I received in my email inbox a Rainbowkids newsletter.  I'd been getting them periodically for more than a year but not paying much attention to them.  I decided to read that last one and then unsubscribe from future letters so as to not cause myself any additional pain over the lost dream of adoption.  You know what happened, don't you?  God spoke to me about continuing the pursuit.  Steve & I talked about it together and then with the kids.  We were all in agreement and every one of us has the heart for it, so we chose to keep going forward to see what God would do.

By the end of January we were looking at various options, including some waiting children, and discussing the various countries and agency requirements.  Boy or girl?  Siblings okay?  Bulgaria? Hong Kong?  US?  Colombia? And which agency would be the best one for us?

The first week in February, I began a journal.  I'm not good at journaling... can't keep it up with my busy schedule, and when I have free time I'd rather read than write. But, I thought, I may have stuff to journal about as we go down the adoption road.

My first entry, dated Feb 9, reads like this:

Some verses I saw posted on a friend's office wall seem very appropriate today:  


Deut. 31:3,6
"The Lord your God himself will cross over ahead of you... Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."


and Zeph. 3:17
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."


I am afraid.  Afraid to press on and do what I want so much to do.  I am afraid God will say no.  I am afraid of questions and how our failures may get in the way.  I am afraid the process will be too quick and I won't be ready, or too slow and I'll lose heart.  I am afraid I can't parent more kids.  I'm afraid of how much it may cost physically and emotionally.  I'm afraid that God won't provide for us financially and that we will be even more stressed.  I am afraid that my family will not support our choice to adopt. And I am afraid of how I will feel if we start and it doesn't work out.  


All of my fear could be for nothing.  God may just defeat every one of these issues.  One by one, as we come upon them, He may show me that there is absolutely NO REASON TO FEAR HIS PLANS. I am in awe of the idea that God would do that.  And again, afraid to hope that He would do this for me -- for us.


I want to move from Hope (would he?) to Trust (He will).  


I wrote the verses from the end of Romans 8 just below that:

vs. 28:  "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

verses 31-32: "What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, freely give us all things?"

and verse 34:  "Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?"

POW!  POW!  POW!  Shot down, every last one of 'em.  My "afraids", I mean.

If God's heart is toward the husbandless and the fatherless, how are we NOT called to do this?  How is God NOT on our side in this?  How is it that He would NOT provide for the orphan to be set in a family, especially one who loved and followed Him?

With Hope pushing us forward, we Trust that God is going before us, rejoicing over our steps, and taking great delight in us, and freely giving us all things that are needed to accomplish the purpose to which He has called us.

Here's the clincher, written later in the journal:
"It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy."  (Romans 9:16)


The apostle Paul would have made an excellent lawyer -- that statement makes a great closing argument in the courtroom of my soul.